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Treatment, recovery, and the miracle of childbirth

sd2010 July 18, 2010 at 5:35 pm

I began having pain in 2002. Although for the most part I was able to continue to using tampons, intercourse was completely out due to the pain. For the first 4 or 5 years, although I had general tenderness, I was for the most part ok – except if there was any attempt at intercourse. Slowly the pain began to get worse and I did start to have daily pain, problems sitting, wearing jeans, etc. Once diagnosed (after many incorrect diagnoses and gyno appts), I tried everything minus surgery for 5 years – topical creams, oral meds, hormone therapy, PT, relaxation, biofeedback, psych work, and even botox injections. Nothing worked; the botox provided some temporary relief, but the pain never went away and I certainly still wasn’t able to have intercourse. The doctor and I discussed surgery, but he didn’t think it was an option for me. I moved and took a break from treatment.

When ready to pursue again, I learned my hormones were off again, so I went back on treatment and my new doctor and I discussed options from here. Since I’d essentially already tried everything, he suggested looking into surgery. Whether surgery was an option or not would be determined if the nerve block test went well. We did the nerve block test and it was the first time in almost 7 years that I honestly didn’t feel any pain with poking or prodding. I felt such relief and joy and scheduled surgery ASAP. I had surgery Jan 09. The first few days post-op were tough, but you get through it. I went from ice to sitz baths, to a short walk (with ice), and back again. I actually started working from home about 4 days afterward and was back in my office within 2 weeks. Granted, I was moving slow, and sitting was challenging at times, but otherwise, I was ok. I started PT a couple of months later, but in hindsight it was too early and too much for me as I had a few very minor setbacks – primarily because I was pushing too much too fast and I wasn’t healed yet. I stopped PT and then restarted about a month or so later. PT this time was much, much better. After a little more time to mentally prepare to attempt intercourse again, my husband and I were finally able to have sex (PAIN FREE) about 8 months after surgery – an incredibly joyous time for us!

It just got better from there as I learned I was pregnant shortly thereafter. I just had an amazing beautiful little boy! Although I really had hoped I would be able to have kids, I had essentially lost hope before the surgery. I am incredibly glad I had the surgery! Hindsight, I wish I had pushed for it earlier. Surgery is obviously a personal decision, but I really am so glad that I had it done – absolutely no regrets or second thoughts. Now onward to the joys of motherhood… I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

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sd2010
November 13, 2010 at 10:12 am

Post pregnancy update (Nov 10)

The past few months post pregnancy for me has been super busy. My son is now 4 months old and I started back to work about a month ago. Naturally, there have been a lot of constant changes to adjust to. As I had a c-section, I was given the ok to resume all normal activity at 6 weeks. I had some lower back and joint pain around my hips post pregnancy, so I really wasn’t sure how pregnancy had affected other areas for me. Aside from being completed exhausted and not feeling in the mood, I was and am also very nervous to attempt intercourse. My husband and I did finally attempt intercourse at 8 weeks post pregnancy. It wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t enjoyable either. I didn’t have the searing, burning, tearing feeling anymore, but I felt tension and some pulling most of the time. It was clearly time to start re-engaging my physical therapy to help relax my pelvic floor muscles, but finding the time was (and continues to be) challenging. I’m still not interested in engaging in intercourse. Part is due to my hormones being off and my testosterone levels are low again. The other part is due to emotional concerns, anxiety, and resulting hesitation because of fear that it’s going to hurt. As a result, I’ve been avoiding intercourse and most physical contact in fear that it will ultimately lead to intercourse. Although I have been able to have pain-free intercourse, it’s challenging to redirect my thoughts to these positive situations vice the 7 years of pain. I recognize I’m still a “success story”, but some days I don’t feel like I’ve achieved success. I’ve been encouraged by my doctor to continue to write on this blog, but have been avoiding due to these feelings and concerns. It’s easier to avoid, then try to address these feeling. Writing on this blog simply brings them up again. As I write, I’m saddened. I recognize that I can’t just allow these feelings to remain unresolved so my husband and I have decided to go to therapy to help. The next step will be picking up the phone to make the appointment. In the meantime, I have my beautiful baby boy to love and take care of – and that really is where most (all?) of my focus and priorities are.

crystalraf
November 13, 2010 at 2:01 pm

You are an inspiration to all of us. Of course you are busy with the baby and totally enjoying being a mom.

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