Topic
My struggle with hormones in menopause
Like many older women, my sex life has had a lot of pitfalls! Certainly my knowledge of my body and my sexuality were limited when I became sexually active. I had no idea what “normal” was, nor did I know how to ask a doctor the right questions to help guide me. In fact, in those days, most MDs would have had little to offer in the way of accurate information, if they even had the willingness to openly discuss sexual issues. But this was in the dark ages…slowly, women have taken charge of their sexuality, and today, we boldly seek the support to have a deeply fulfilling sexual response.
I struggled with birth control through my 20’s, then struggled not only with my erratic menstrual cycles through my 30’s, but difficulty with orgasm I sought help many times. I was put on birth control hormones again, despite my tubal ligation. I tried therapy, trying to discover “the reason” I was so poorly responsive to intercourse by delving into my mental health. I even had acupuncture done. My sexual health simmered as an issue, flaring up at times…I would feel ashamed, damaged, frigid. I almost became resigned to the fact that my body was somehow abnormal and that was that.
My 40’s started with all the early symptoms of menopause, especially the mood changes, hot flashes, memory lapses. This was the beginning of a maddening few years of seeking solutions, doing my own research, visiting a number of MDs, and often being told I was “too young” to be in peri-menopause, especially since I still had periods. I began to feel hopeless. I literally begged some of these doctors to try hormone replacement therapy, most refused. I had a shouting match with a doctor whose own culture and beliefs were such that he advised me to “forget it”, the hormones were dangerous, and sex shouldn’t be so important that I should risk my life. I was deeply discouraged.
Eventually, I tried a number of HRT regimens. Not once did any of the doctors check my blood levels for hormone imbalance; they simply wrote prescriptions for the standard doses of the meds. It became obvious I had problems tolerating progesterone although I tried many varieties and, since I had my uterus, I needed to include progesterone to protect me from uterine cancer. Finally, at age 52, still having monthly periods, still experiencing disturbing mood swings, memory lapses and hot flashes, my doctor suggested a hysterectomy. I had major surgery seeking to find a way to deal with hormone Imbalance!
After the surgery, I went on a regimen of HRT that did help quite a bit. However, as my insurance changed several times, I still encountered doctors who refused to provide hormones, now because I was TOO OLD! I began hoarding the meds, fearful they would be taken away from me. I even went to Mexico and got the drugs, feeling like a criminal.
Then, at last, I saw an ad in the San Diego paper for a seminar sponsored by San Diego Sexual Medicine. This was in the fall of 2009. Wow! My eyes were opened at that event. Dr. Irwin Goldstein presented a detailed, hard science analysis of how to safely managed sexual health with HRT as well as other meds and procedures. I later visited his office and had an absolutely wonderful, supportive experience. I was HEARD. My issues we acknowledged. The exam was incredibly thorough, with lab measurements of 9 different lab values, which revealed my long standing HRT regimen was simply not being absorbed. The doctor explained my options for meds that would be more effective. He also offered adjuncts that could improve my sex drive and response.
Within a month or so, I felt alive sexually for the first time in years. The change in my experience of orgasm was beyond my wildest dreams. My partner was ecstatic that he could share this pleasure with me and we simply have grown more and more deeply connected because of this. I am sure that women do experience a variety of responses to this type of therapy, but for me, it has been a miracle. The intercourse discomfort, poor orgasmic response and fear that I was harming myself by continuing the HRT are history. I have found solutions I wish every women could access!