SX21

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I’m not crazy after all!

Carlab

In September 2000, shortly after an important relationship ended, I started having the symptoms of what I now know is PGAD. It began — and mostly remained throughout the years — as a very sexual sensation. In my case, I associated it with my lost lover. Since I’d been on antidepressants since 1995, it was also tempting to link it to my mental state. And that’s where I began — by talking to my psychiatrist about something she had never heard of. All I can say is — if you want to be diagnosed as crazy, tell a psychiatrist what you’re experiencing! Then I proceeded to seek help from every doctor and therapist I went to. I figured, all these years later, that I probably talked to 10 different health care professionals about my situation. It wasn’t until 2005 that my endocrinologist said it sounded like something she’d heard on 20/20. From there, I was able to find the condition on the Internet and start to understand that I wasn’t the only one with this experience. In the meantime, my psychiatrist tried a series of drugs, I saw a neurologist, and so on and so on. I’m convinced my current psychiatrist still thinks I’m manic depressive. What were they going to think? Here’s this woman saying that she experiences sexual feelings out of the blue and can’t control it. A nymphomaniac in the making, I guess.

I’ve always said that I could possibly put up with PGAD because it is so sexual — and what could be wrong with sex! But there are many times when it was so intense that my already not-so-great level of concentration went right out the window. Honestly, it feels sometimes like I’m having sex. It’s beyond feeling horny — which is just about the only way to describe it to most people. But masturbation or intercourse don’t do any good. And I think my condition was exacerbated by perimenopause and early menopause, and limited ability to have orgasms. If only I could have handled it by having orgasms over and over I think it might have been great!

Anyway, I discovered that Dr. Irwin Goldstein was treating PGAD in San Diego and, after corresponding with him by e-mail for four years, I finally went to see him. It turned out to be worth the flight from Virginia and the costly examination. He put me on Chantix and tramadol, and showed me how to use a TENS unit. But that’s really beside the point. The best thing he did was to tell me it wasn’t in my head. Instead, he explained how the condition is associated with pudendal nerve damage and that there might actually be a legitimate physical reason for this. Oddly, as the treatment started to work, I realized just how painful the sensations actually are. I guess it went from something that seemed like a pure mental case to a genuine painful sensation.

The PGAD hasn’t gone away entirely but it is more manageable. All I can say is, don’t think you’re crazy. And get help! I did.

2 Comments

Musiness

Why not join the PGAD group on facebook to see other attempts in dealing with this.

For example, many of the women say that this happened after taking antidepressents.

marmar

The PGAD group on facebook is great. Plus there are other support groups too that women have had success with and that doctors refer their patients to.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/psas_group/

awreet9

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ellie

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