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I was on the brink of suicide – Now I have hope!
I am a 30 year old woman, who has been dealing with a 0% sexual drive/sexual sensation issue since I was 15 YEARS OLD. Finally, after 15 years of frustrating, exhausting, gut-wrenching searching, I have found Dr. Irwin Goldstein and the San Diego Sexual Medicine clinic, and now have genuine hope for the future.
It all started when I was 15. One day I just felt NOTHING. I went from 100% to 0% in one day. No joke.
I initially thought I was just insecure, or not into the guys I was with, I even thought I might be a lesbian. After about 6 years of assuming every experience was a one-off, I began to explore the possibilities that there was actually something wrong with me, and sought professional advice.
I went to a sex therapist, a male, who robbed me not only of money but also of hope. He seemed to have no understanding, and definitely no sympathy, for what I was going through. I wasn’t able to maintain healthy relationships – I was faking all my sexual feelings, and eventually so bored with sex it actually began to disgust me.
This therapist insisted that it was all in my head. He insisted that women generally don’t enjoy sex, and that I was probably just insecure, had probably been molested or experienced something traumatic in my past, and several years of regressive therapy would be the only way to possibly help.
He never ONCE ordered a blood test. He never once even broached the possibility that it might NOT be in my head.
Anyone who has spent even 5 minutes with me knows I’m not insecure, frigid, or dealing with repressed memories. I stopped seeing the therapist and resigned myself to unfulfilling relationships, hoping I could eventually get over how unsatisfactory they were. Of course, I couldn’t, and I found myself in a cycle of disgust, heart-break and loneliness. Followed by a deepening depression, made worse by the fact that I didn’t know of anyone else who would understand me.
When I talked about what I was experiencing with friends, with doctors, with boyfriends, with anyone who would listen – they all just assumed I wasn’t experiencing ‘much’ of an orgasm, ‘much’ arousal, and they too, thought it was all in my head; that I was exaggerating the intensity of the disorder. I felt completely alone, and like I would always be completely alone – unless I learned to have sex with people I was unattracted to. I honestly had reached a point where I was planning how long I had to wait until my parent died so I could finally kill myself. I couldn’t take being alone anymore, with no reason to ever expect it to end.
Then I finally heard about Dr. Goldstein and SDSM. They have literally saved my life. They UNDERSTAND what I’m going through. They asked the right questions. They have seen and heard it all before – and are ready to help in whatever way necessary, be it medical, mental, physical or all three.
In my case it’s just medical – I have several hormone imbalances. We’re working through several experimental combinations and I felt an immediate improvement. Life is looking up! If only I hadn’t wasted 15 years of my life!!!!!!!
If you think you may be dealing with a sexual disorder, please please PLEASE don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong! Especially don’t let them tell you you’re wrong because you’re a woman! You know yourself and your body best. Don’t let them tell you that you shouldn’t expect to enjoy sex. Don’t let them tell you anything they wouldn’t tell a man.
I highly recommend at least a consultation with Dr. Goldstein, and I whole-heartedly recommend going to see his team if you’re dealing with a situation that is starting to negatively impacting your life in any way.