I need injections
I am a 55 year old man. Until now, it has been too difficult to share my feeling and experiences with total strangers, given the stigma, Shame, guilt and embarrassment of My sexual “ISSUES”… until I read what others that were sharing on this site and realized that maybe I could in some small way “give back” for and in consideration of Doctor Irwin Goldstein’s selfless, professional, straight forward successful efforts to not only manage My dysfunction but treat me as a person not just patient and Also report our marriage is better than ever……….. My “Issue” well managed with BIG improvement.
I could never thank San Diego sexual Medicine and DR. Goldstein(s) enough! Irwin and Sue!
About a year ago…….There I am, Complete and total surrender…on the ground, curled in a ball, crying, shaking and at “Rock Bottom”. Having just been order away from the bedroom door as Ashley, my wife did not want to hear any of my “Bullshit” excuses as to why I can’t be a man to her and let me know that I am the meanest cruelest person she knows and she would never have left me that “way” back in the day when it was every day! True…She did not. Oh and by the way, I not waiting around for you anymore, if someone looks interested and clean , I’m going for it…I’m done…FUCK YOU…..(me, oh baby, no, please..) Get away from the door. Come back when you have a dick……no don’t come back. I don’t want you touching me now…now it’s all weirded out…not sexy…Loud as she could……..Get away or I’ll get up and leave and I swear everyone around us will hear me…. They already could! So to “my” own room I go to cry myself to sleep. Seems harsh but it is deserved! Nothing ever prepared me for this change of the way I feel about sex, I’d turned into the stereotype of a woman. A crying, apathy filled soul that just’s wants to cuddle, hug, kiss…Love matters most, right?
Anything that would keep me from being put in a situation to try sex and fail was avoided. I would work late, fake illness, fixing nothing wrong with the cars and hide all the while starting us towards a place no marriage should go.
Ashley is a very beautiful woman that works hard at it. She would dress sexy and come out and instead of jumping on it, like any man would if invited Me? I would just freeze in fear as I knew what was coming and that most likely…………………..It was not me…..Just another beat down. The beast is loose and on edge after weeks of no penis, sex or nothing sustainable that could be called intercourse or penetration!!
I think we all have our name(s) for the growing gap and rage that has taken over our always faithful, always honest and loving mates and are at lost what to do with this raging out of control monster cursing me with most hurtful Vulgarities previously unknown to most….and saying things that a person that loves someone would and could, At the time, you feel, would ever say. With strings for hope, I would try to forget and forgive knowing the instigator was my failure(s)and lack of taking actions to get help beyond what had been done up to then.
We were / are…. the sole mate for ever kinda thing. We really still like each other and have really great adult kids and a grandson we love…. so… moving on from the forever heartbreaking reality that your mate, your baby, your girl and wife and best friend has to go to another man in quest to reassure herself she is still viable as a woman and wanted as a woman and needed as a woman because I could not do the job, is hard but understandable. Roles reversed, I may have done the same…..
It just did not make sense for a marriage and a true love, caring and lifelong friendship should be torn apart due to just the dysfunction…. Not when the love is still this strong.
So off to my primary care Doctor …….Blue Pills… Rx@ Take one tab, Wait one to One hour and 12 minutes to have sex, maybe….. In the mean time I’ll go take 3 Advil’s for the back pain I seemed to get after taking Viagra. I would hope to that we could finish fast before I threw up due the side effects and take 2 or three acid reducers. I was at the edge, on the bubble and distraught beyond hope. Then at an appointment with my specialist, he noted my behavior and asked if he could listen or help…after telling him of my difficulties he suggested I contact SDSM and referred me to Dr.Goldstein. Still embarrassed and ashamed by the stigma attached to this issue but wanting to stay with the woman I love I contacted SDSM and will look back only if it can help someone else hurting as I was. I can not put word to the discoveries made in turning my care over the Doc G. There are new answers every day being found everyday for these disorders in this unjustifiable misunderstood area of healthcare and I thank both Doc G. and Dr. Sue……………. Both for their dedication to this controversial field of medicine and expertise and for helping me save my marriage, my confidence and return to normalcy. It is because of this and more, did I feel willing to go back to such an awful ugly place and recall and share my story…..
Not only have I made all the mistakes one can make when trying to address and treat this so common issue for us 45+s… I have lived through it and I am here to say: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIVE IT!!! THERE IS HELP! THERE IS HOPE! PLEASE!!!! CALL SDSM !!!!
Come meet Dr. (s) Irwin or Sue Goldstein before losing hope…Your HMO could never equal the care or knowledge you will receive PERIOD. I promise you I know about that!