Topic
To help other couples deal with ED when the ED is ignored
It has now been a little over a year since Daniel had his penile implant and the results has been all that was promised and more! Our sexual encounters have been amazing. If you might have asked, two years ago if I thought Daniel and I would ever make love again. I would have answered absolutely not!
Our sex life ended quite suddenly about ten years ago when Daniel could no longer keep an erection. He tried to pretend that it was not happening but I was on the receiving end and his penis would not stay erect as soon as we began making love. He was in complete denial that there was a problem for quite sometime.
I could not deal with the situation on my own and did not want to betray him by confiding in anyone except a professional therapist so I entered into therapy. My therapist helped me find the strength to insist that Daniel talk to his PCP about his problem. Daniel was so angry and frustrated whenever I brought the subject up that it tore our relationship apart. We went to several Doctors. We tried all the oral meds, and a vacuum devise but nothing helped.
We then found Dr G. in Boston. We were optimistic that Dr G. would have the answer and cure Daniel immediately. Dr. G. told us that his testosterone level was extremely low and he had a condition that caused the blood to leak from his penis when it became erect. He would never be able to have and retain a normal erection again without help. We then tried injection therapy which worked sometimes but Daniel would not self inject. I now had to inject his penis then we had to wait about 15 to 20 minutes and hope it would give him an erection so we could make love. It became so mechanical it ruined any sexual desire we had for each other. I think we both started to resent each other and just stopped wanting to make love. We became great roommates as long as we continued to deny that we were sexual beings. The most difficult part for me was that I enjoyed sex! I was 42 years old not 82 and Daniel would not even touch me in any sexual way. He would tell me to have an affair if I wanted to have sex. Of course, I knew he did not mean it but it was still very painful to hear.
In the meantime, Dr. G. had moved from Boston to San Diego and we went a few years without any contact with him.
I completely denied my sexual needs and went on antidepressant medications to cope with my sadness, anger, and feelings of rejection. Our relationship continued to dwindle. We decided to go to couples therapy for help. The therapist and I continued to insist that Daniel call Dr G. to talk about a penile implant. We traveled to San Diego for more tests and Dr. G. told Daniel that it was time to schedule the implant surgery. Daniel decided not to schedule the surgery at this visit and said he wanted more time to think about it. We discussed the surgery for about six more months and thank goodness, Dr. G. did not give up on us! He continued to email us and we had several telephone appointments. Daniel finally called Dr. G. begrudgingly and scheduled the surgery. We flew to San Diego and Daniel had the surgery. The surgery went well. I had my husband back. He immediately acted more confident and became more affectionate towards me even though we could not make love until his incision had healed and we could go back to San Diego, which would be six to eight long weeks of waiting.
We checked in with Dr. G. weekly. I would take pictures of the incision and email them to him so that he knew that the incision was healing properly.
Our relationship was back on track and we were both very excited to become lovers again! We made the trip back for Daniel’s exam about eight weeks after surgery and Dr. G. taught Daniel how to inflate and deflate the implant in his office. Dr. G. even came to our hotel to help Daniel when he had a difficult time to inflate the implant. We are so grateful and I am so happy to finally have my husband back.