Topic
35 is too young to have no sex drive – working on the solution!
I’m a 35 year old woman with two small children. Before giving birth, I used to have a good sex drive. I can’t say that it was overwhelming but it worked for me and my husband. After giving birth to my first child, I noticed a small change in my sex drive but it wasn’t much. Then I had another child three years later and noticed another dip again. It was still tolerable and I just wrote it off as being a young, tired mother of two. But for the past year, I’ve noticed some major changes to my sex drive and how my body reacts to stimulation. My desire went from low to almost non-existent. And on those rare occassions when I was actually interested in sex, I could barely feel my orgasms when they happened. My husband is incredibly supportive of what’s happening, but I felt way too young to live with this.
After seeking medical care from two OBGYN’s who are both highly recommended, both told me my hormone levels were ‘fine’ and that I wasn’t in menopause. I should just have a glass of wine and relax. The last time I heard this a couple of months ago, all I could do was cry. I didn’t need to relax. I love my husband, I love being intimate with him but something was physically wrong with my body. After a friend referred me to Dr. Goldstein in San Diego, I scheduled a phone conference with him. I immediately felt relief, validation and tears, this time of joy, knowing that someone was listening to me and that we were going to look for a solution to my problem.
Last week, I went in for my full office visit and review of lab tests. Again, tears of joy to learn that there were problems with my hormone levels. Tests revealed my HSSD and large deficit in testosterone. My hypothyroidism had also increased to levels that were higher than beneficial. I took the birth control pill for almost 20 years and am learning that was clearly not the best idea.
After reviewing my options with Dr. Goldstein, I decided to have the testosterone pellet inserted. It seemed like the best option for me to not risk my children being exposed to the testosterone cream. It’s been three days and my tush is still a little sore from the incision but it’s really not bad. The second night with the implant, I had sexual dreams about my husband. That hasn’t happened in a long time and used to happen almost every night. Then last night, we decided to have sex. I had some interest throughout the day but mostly it was out of curiosity to see what would happen. For the first time in months, I actually felt my orgasm. It wasn’t earth shattering, but considering I’ve only had the implant for three days, it was quite exciting so I know something is working. I’m looking forward to seeing what is still to come over time as the hormone continues to take effect.
And I know if this isn’t the answer, there are still many many other options to explore. That is the best part- the optimism that there are solutions that don’t involve being told to ‘relax and have a glass of wine.’ I’m so glad I decided to take control of my life and realize that this is part of my quality of life, not something I should just have to live with. And I’m incredibly grateful that there are doctors out there who are willing to work and find real solutions to these problems, not just triaging the symptoms.